This morning's oracle card and meditation: Cleaning House
Yesterday's theme was about 'trusting.'
Today's theme is about 'becoming.'
And tomorrow's theme is about 'claiming.'
The card I drew for today's webinar on 'becoming'
is 'Cleaning House.'
What does cleaning house mean to you?
I remember a 'cleaning the house frenzy'
whenever guests were coming to visit our house...
so they would think our house always looked like this...
nice and clean and tidy...
which was a lie...a facade.
Why? Why do we care about this?
The old German saying...
"Cleanliness is next to Godliness!"
We were trying to impress others
and give them a 'false' impression of us.
I can now live with a bit of dust
and a few dirty dishes in the sink, but
to me, cleaning house means
that when things get a bit toooooo messy or dirty,
it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable...
to the point where I actually get up and start cleaning,
removing the dust and dirt and clutter
to put things back into some semblance of order
in which I then feel comfortable again.
Cleaning house, especially sweeping with a broom,
and decluttering,
is work.
It takes physical effort to sweep away dirt
(which always seems to come back)
and mental effort to declutter the excesses
and donate them to others who might use them.
Along with cleaning my physical house,
I think about what I need to clean and clear out
mentally, emotionally, and spiritually...
things that no longer serve me NOW
and are a bit toooo messy and uncomfortable,
like the thoughts, feeling, and beliefs
that I am bad, guilty, unworthy, unlovable, broken,
damaged beyond repair, I'm never enough,
I have to wear a mask to hide my true self,
so others think I'm fine while inside I'm dying,
the minimizing (oh, it wasn't so bad, others have had worse),
and the beliefs that
I will never be able to heal from childhood wounding
but will carry this pain and suffering and PTSD to my grave,
and that I must forgive my abuser.
All of these thoughts, feelings and beliefs
are a result of my childhood sexual abuse
and have impacted me all my life (almost 7 decades now!)
and they are getting too messy and uncomfortable
and no longer serve me.
So, as they rear their ugly voices in my head today,
I will sweep them away...
I will sweep them away...
I will sweep them away...
and replace them with their positive opposites:
I am good,
I am not guilty for what was done to me
as an 8-year-old child
by an 34+-year-old adult
I am worthy
I am lovable
I am wounded but able to heal
(even tho there may be scars remaining)
I am enough
I can be my authentic self and take off my mask
I can speak my truth
and I do NOT have to forgive my sexual abuser in order to heal
(whosoever sins ye retain, they are retained...John 20:23).
By cleaning my house,
my mental, emotional and spiritual house
of blaming myself,
shaming myself,
of hating myself,
used as a tool to justify my abuse...
(children obey your parents in all things,
for this is pleasing to the Lord...Ephesians 6:1)
I can BECOME a new person...
my truest and most authentic self,
and finally be free and begin healing.
Today is all about cleaning house
and BECOMING something authentic and new and true
and finally finding some peace and joy in my life
in the few remaining years I have left on this planet.
